|When is it that you turn yourself into something you hate? .. Are you born being something you hate or is it that after a while you just subconsciously change? |
Are all humans procrastonators? Or is it just me?
I've been trying for a couple of years now to stay ontop of my work. To be ahead of the game.
Guess what, it doesn't work. I can't stay ahead of anything. Its always one half step forward, wait till the VERY last minute, then finish the step making it only by the skin of my teeth.
Am I an adrenaline junkie or just lazy? I can't even tell anymore. It drives me crazy.
The weirdest part of it is that the more I procrastonate, the better whatever i'm working on comes out. Take my essays for example.
During taks review my jr. year in Mrs. Bradshaw's English class we wrote without end. The harder I worked the worse grade I got, I finally got fed up and decided to take a break. My break lasted until the period RIGHT before when the essay was due. I started on the essay and finished it 5 minutes before it was time to turn the stupid thing in.
It turned out to be the best paper I had written in the class.
A 4.. my average being a 3..
It was so STUPID. And it frustrates me to no end how when I wait till the last minute, these great ideas come to me, but when I try to make it in before the deadline, it turns out a pile of crap.
Am i weird? .. Does this happen to any other human in the world?... *sigh*..
Stupid procrastinating tendancies..
|Well it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. There were more people there than I expected though. What with the new fish and just new students all around it seemed a bit more cluttered than usual. I am willing to wager this year will be interesting to say the least. It'll be fun...|
and I can't wait till its over.
I'm not a big fan of drama. As a matter of fact, I hate it. My friend and I just got over a little argument I would have rather not taken part in. We've been friends since Jr. High. Now, she's graduated and I'm a senior. We don't really hang out all that often anymore because hanging out is honestly one of the last things in our minds. She's got boyfriends and I prefer to stay inside, away from anything that holds any likeness to me *(Ex:: Flesh)*. We are two totally different human beings. Looking at us we have absolutely zilch in common but we're still close. She's my best friend and I can tell her almost anything. With that being said we'll move on to the actual argument.
So it started like this ---------------------->
I, Brittany Fox, of Hughes Springs, Texas. Did a very very
I told a joke.
Plain and simple.
Yeah, a simple not-too-offensive joke.
But you're not supposed to do that.
It wasn't really even a joke. It was more along the lines of a one-liner in response to a suggestion that I had made. No my suggestion wasn't mean or crude. I simply asked...
...if she would like to hang out.
For those of you listening..
you're not supposed to do that either...
Anyway she got mad.
No, wait let me rephrase...
She became angry
We went like ten frickin minutes of nothing but silly little phrases that I'm sure she ment
to be harmless but in actuality made me want to slit
. *( Or the throat closest to me, whichever...)* All the while I -for the first time since history started with me-
kept my cool. I was actually trying
to calm her down. Why? Well there are several reasons...
- Her friendship means the world to me. (even if she denies it)
- I really didn't want to die.
- I'm too soft.
Yeah thats right. I'm too frickin nice to people. You know what? I. Don't. Care.
I know I allow people to run over me as much as they please.
No, I'm not okay with it.
I'm just too lazy to do anything about it.
Which is why I have this thing. *(xanga<3)*
After a little while more of her constantly stabbing me in what was left of my little black heart making the poor thing shatter to bits, it stopped. We called a truce (sorta) and are back to being friends.
So my question is, do all friends do this?
Have random fights about nothing then make up as if nothing was really all you were virtually screaming about?
Geeze this gets confusing.
Anyway if said person *(and you should know who you are)* reads this post by some sort of fucked up chance, I want you to know that I'll always be here and that I always care, unless I state otherwise.
Yes that holds true even when I'm being anti-social.
Word of wisdom from the broken hearted??
If you must fall into an argument with your friend, fight like hell to win the argument, and then make up. *(note: I said make UP not make OUT )*
Thats it for today.
|Well my day was going absolutely peachy until my little cousins' mother showed up. I'm not kin to her. I forfeited that a long time ago.. |
No really, I'm lucky, I'm not being sarcastic at all. The woman scares even the nastiest fungus away with just her smell.. Thats talent.
Needless to say when they stepped upon my doorstep *(Didn't hear 'em, I smelt 30 years of dirt and grime buildup)* my entire day flipflopped from good, to dreadful.
I'm not saying I hate my family. No this isn't the case. I'm saying I can't stand my little cousin's parents. There's a difference.
At first it wasn't too bad I suppose. They were scared of me *(yeah, right, I was hiding safely away in my room where the monsters couldn't get me)* ..at first. Then they entered my MY sanctuary and decided "Hey lookie here, a scared little girl who bathes. Let's wrap our arms around her and see if she actually tries to claw her skin off."...
When she hugged me I saw my fairly short life flash before my eyes, and distinctly remember feeling light headed as the onslaught of smells invaded my poor sensitive nose like the Nazi's thru Poland in WWII.
I'm not even to the best part yet.
In the midst of my internal war of clawing my skin off and wanting to mutilate the things that forced my self inflicted torture upon me, my mom enters my MY sanctuary which is turning out to not be so sacred as more and more people rape her entrance with their filthy feet. *(hiss)* My beloved mother who loves me more than skinny people love puking suggests that I go get my littlecousinsrelatives something to drink. I more than happily comply and bring them all tea. Nice tea that my little cousin herself put her blood sweat and tears into. *(ha, almost literally, mom caught me trying to set her on fire with the long lighter.. again...)* Upon my return I find the reason that I'm not a very stable person.
Do you remember me telling you they don't, as in-Do Not, bathe?
They were laying on my MY bed.
Stop, pause, rewind, play.
They were laying on my MY bed.
What the FUCK!?
Yes there they were. Laying just as ugly as you please on my brand frickin new soft tiger comforter.
My lesson in life from my.. experience today that I will share with you all is simple.. ::
Never. Ever.cuss your mother's sister while your mother is in the room..
Wait till she leaves, then exact revenge.
Ps: On a light note, I did get to talk to Noor. Love you always girl. <3
|Well kiddies, school starts tomorrow. Can't you just feel my burning enthusiasm? |
No not that burning, and yes before you ask it was me that set your pants on fire... Gotta problem? Take it up with somebody that associates themselves with me. Maybe they'll care.
Well I suppose now would be the perfect time to go over every lovingly boring detail of my summer. Are you ready folks?
I love summer stories like that. Why don't the people around me like those types? Short, sweet, simple. Just look at the eloquence in the simplicity of the message. It just comes straight out and tells you, "Hey, I was bored past tears this summer!", only with less words.
That, in truth, is what I am absolutely dreading when I step onto that prison they call a campus. The summer stories. It's worse then sitting down with your grandma who's telling you the same story of hers, his, and everyone else's life. And about as long too.
So you're sitting in class and one of your buddies leans over and starts smacking his or her face off in your ear. You don't really care to hear it but in order not to hurt his or her feelings you smile and laugh the whole while you hear about his or her entire vacation. And just when you feel that maybe whatever God you pray to decides to take the torture off of your ears you find out that its "only the beginning"..
Sit back, relax, and resist the urge to scream.
I wonder who actually cares about someone else's summer. Everyone knows that everyone had basically the same summer as you. What? Don't believe me? Ex 1.1-->
Sally went to beaches all summer worked on her tan and met the hottest guy ever. She talked to him and they sucked face but this was only the beginning of her summer.
Yes this is when Sally will go on to tell you about the 3 other totallyawesome hotties ever and how she managed to make out with each and every one of them. While listening to her story you realise that two hours have passed and with each tick of the second hand you find yourself that much closer to snapping her neck in half.
But that would be bad and violent and we all know we don't like that.
End Ex. 1.1
My point is from every girl you will hear the same. exact. story. With different names and different places. It doesn't matter how lame and false the summer tale ends up sounding, just so long as you tell someone about the adventures you only dreamt about happening. The actuality of Sally's summer was more along the lines of ::
Sally spent all summer in the house with her parents yelling at her to get off of her lazy ass and do something rather than take up space on their couch watching soap opras and eating cake. The so called "hot guys" from her story were either A: figments of her wet dream fantasies or B: mousy little computer geeks that gave her a second glance.
And just so you know, she probably didn't have anything touch her, save her own chicken greased fingers.
That is why I hate school. It's not the teachers or the classes or the cirriculum. Its my fellow classmates. They produce more drama than those silly soap opra's fat Sally spent all summer watching.
Anyway thats it for my rant today. Maybe I'll have something new later on because I just know you all love reading my posts.
|Hello kids. Let me just start off by saying my brother is a moron. And with that out of the way I'll go on to tell you why. |
He's a weak insecure would-be know-it-all. He makes me so mad. Problem is I can't really do anything about it. So I'll content myself with ranting here.
He's completely ignorant in the devious ways of the hoes he talks to and gets used often then gets angry at me because I have a bad horrid habit of saying what I happen to be thinking at the moment. He sends all his little friends *(coughcough)* after big bad sister because he knows I'll hurt him if he comes to me insulting my intelligence. He has absolutely no room to talk. Just because I crack jokes and say mean things *(omgcutyourself)* does not mean I'm a fool. A bit sadistic yes I'll admit, but not a fool by any stretch of the word.
A question for anyone that reads this:::
How stupid do you have to be to crawl into a drier and get stuck and unable to get out?
Here I'll tell you...
You have to be 15 years old and mentally retarded.
Thats how lame you have to be.
Sure stick yourself in the drier but don't call for help. Isn't that a bit humilating? Getting your ass stuck in a drier? .. I laugh in your face and wish 3rd degree burns on you.
If the girl that actually DID this reads this post by any offhand chance and tells my little baby bro, i have to say, i still dont like you. Rot in hell...
Or better yet..
Go stick yourself in a drier and cut yourself. Thats more fitting..